55 mph or weeks ??

When people see this sign they think about how fast or slow they can go, setting a pace to follow, keeping within the guide lines set...... in our case it symbolizes how many weeks we have been waiting for a referral. 55 weeks. It's certainly not speeding along. I was keeping track of the number of weeks on my desk calendar and I remember hitting 40 weeks thinking that we should be at our "due date" for being pregnant on paper. That number went by with no referral news. Now anyone involved with an international adoption will tell you to expect a few of these along the way, and we have had a couple......social worker changes, paperwork chases, etc. Hoping we would not see #50, but watched it go by, I was dreading the 52 week mark as it meant a FULL YEAR has gone by. As of this post, we are at 55 weeks of waiting for a referral. The last update I had from our agency, we were told it could take longer, (hope you are sitting) maybe as much as another 12 months, Yes, twelve, months!! Go ahead pick your jaw up, I still can't believe it. I am trying to stay up beat and positive, but some days are really hard. REALLY hard. I keep trying to tell myself I have done this before and our labor pains blessed us with two of the most wonderful children any parent could ask for. This wait is longer than theirs was. I keep telling myself "OK, I can get through this". But it's hard. I have done very, very little retail therapy because I am not sure what to buy. We haven't set up the crib yet, Christopher said it would be too hard to see it empty for now. I have to agree with him.

To explain that I am really trying to be positive, here is a chuckle for you........

The other day, Emily asked me why I looked so down, noticing the frown on my face and the fact I was so quiet. (Those that know me, quiet is not my strong suit, I'm a talker LOL) I explained about the extended time, and she asked me if I wanted any popcorn - my ultimate favorite snack!! Ahh, Comfort food. I told her no thanks, (I'm cooking dinner) and she gave me a hug. Awww, isn't she sweet? Now they say timing is everything.........Christopher and Adam walked in the door, tennis practice finished, and looking for dinner. Emily was setting the table and they asked her what was going on. With out ANY hesitation, she simply replied, "Mom needs Cymbal ta, she's down". The two of them looked at me, total shock on my face.....and then bust out laughing. They already knew about the wait time but she hadn't yet. Emily pulled a classic 'out of the mouths of babes' and Christopher, my dear husband couldn't hold it in. Adam followed. They weren't being insensitive, it was all about the timing and the interpretation of a kid. I told her she wasn't allowed to watch television anymore! Even though I am down about the time frame, I can reassure you that things like this make the day so much better, and easier so that Yes, I can get through this. With out Cymbal ta!!!!!!

On a happy note......Tomorrow I am sending our updated & now current dossier paperwork, including our approved home study (Yea!) to our agency. You never know and Just in case, maybe our newest blessing could be ready for us soon. I want to be (paperwork) ready. And unless our agency gives us a sign like this..........

I will continue to be hopeful that I will see a sign like this really, really soon ............

Thanks for listening to my venting and pity party.......sometimes those that have 'been there and did that' are the ones that can truly understand!!!!