Wednesday, April 29, 2009

55 mph or weeks ??

When people see this sign they think about how fast or slow they can go, setting a pace to follow, keeping within the guide lines set...... in our case it symbolizes how many weeks we have been waiting for a referral. 55 weeks. It's certainly not speeding along. I was keeping track of the number of weeks on my desk calendar and I remember hitting 40 weeks thinking that we should be at our "due date" for being pregnant on paper. That number went by with no referral news. Now anyone involved with an international adoption will tell you to expect a few of these along the way, and we have had a worker changes, paperwork chases, etc. Hoping we would not see #50, but watched it go by, I was dreading the 52 week mark as it meant a FULL YEAR has gone by. As of this post, we are at 55 weeks of waiting for a referral. The last update I had from our agency, we were told it could take longer, (hope you are sitting) maybe as much as another 12 months, Yes, twelve, months!! Go ahead pick your jaw up, I still can't believe it. I am trying to stay up beat and positive, but some days are really hard. REALLY hard. I keep trying to tell myself I have done this before and our labor pains blessed us with two of the most wonderful children any parent could ask for. This wait is longer than theirs was. I keep telling myself "OK, I can get through this". But it's hard. I have done very, very little retail therapy because I am not sure what to buy. We haven't set up the crib yet, Christopher said it would be too hard to see it empty for now. I have to agree with him.

To explain that I am really trying to be positive, here is a chuckle for you........

The other day, Emily asked me why I looked so down, noticing the frown on my face and the fact I was so quiet. (Those that know me, quiet is not my strong suit, I'm a talker LOL) I explained about the extended time, and she asked me if I wanted any popcorn - my ultimate favorite snack!! Ahh, Comfort food. I told her no thanks, (I'm cooking dinner) and she gave me a hug. Awww, isn't she sweet? Now they say timing is everything.........Christopher and Adam walked in the door, tennis practice finished, and looking for dinner. Emily was setting the table and they asked her what was going on. With out ANY hesitation, she simply replied, "Mom needs Cymbal ta, she's down". The two of them looked at me, total shock on my face.....and then bust out laughing. They already knew about the wait time but she hadn't yet. Emily pulled a classic 'out of the mouths of babes' and Christopher, my dear husband couldn't hold it in. Adam followed. They weren't being insensitive, it was all about the timing and the interpretation of a kid. I told her she wasn't allowed to watch television anymore! Even though I am down about the time frame, I can reassure you that things like this make the day so much better, and easier so that Yes, I can get through this. With out Cymbal ta!!!!!!

On a happy note......Tomorrow I am sending our updated & now current dossier paperwork, including our approved home study (Yea!) to our agency. You never know and Just in case, maybe our newest blessing could be ready for us soon. I want to be (paperwork) ready. And unless our agency gives us a sign like this..........
I will continue to be hopeful that I will see a sign like this really, really soon ............

Thanks for listening to my venting and pity party.......sometimes those that have 'been there and did that' are the ones that can truly understand!!!!


Lisa said...

(((Hugs))) coming your way friend!
It IS hard to sometimes see the silver lining when it seems its oh so far away. I'm so sad to hear that your wait times have been extended and so dramatically! I do believe that often agencies give VERY conservative estimates, so maybe we can shave a few mos. or more off of that best guess!! :)

And still its longer than you had hoped and longer than you had planned on.....that's agonizing and so understandable!

Absolutely so many of us understand and stand ready with support!

Your daughter is a pure gem and I'm glad she helped to make you laugh! Your perspective is truly wonderful!
~hugs, Lisa

Cindy said...

Hi Terry - I completely understand. . .but stay hopeful! That's great that your paperwork is updated and on its way! Your little guy will find his way to you in God's perfect timing. We are grateful for all the support you've given us along the way, and I will keep cheering you on, too!


Journey to our baby said...

I hope you do not have to wait another 12 months. I used to count weeks but stopped because it made me too sad. Try to keep your head up :)


QingLu Mama said...

Oh, Terry...How did I miss this post? I can't believe it can be that much more time. I am thinking it is a very conservative estimate. But sheesh, 55 weeks is a real long time! I totally get why you may be feeling a bit blue and need an adoption break! I am really hoping that there is great news very soon, and you know I'm here for you anytime you need to vent!

On a positive note, I love the road signs...very creative! And how funny is Emily! Moments like that...that's what makes life so simply wonderful!

I have added you to my blog list, not just my following list- so I won't miss any more posts!